
Track: Sport or Game?
Or
Track: Does Anyone Give a Flying Monkey Fuck?
There's been, over the history of my awesome life, a large dispute between the words 'sport' and 'game'. There's alot of discrepancy. There's a lot of arguing and disagreement on the definition of these words, and the semantics of what they are associated to. Its finally time to lay down the law. I am going to give you the definitive definition of both, and relate them to examples, such as track and field.
GAME gam (n)
An activity providing entertainment or amusement; a pastime: party games; word games.
A competitive activity or sport in which players contend with each other according to a set of rules: the game of basketball; the game of gin rummy.
SPORT (sport) (n)
Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively.
An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively.
An active pastime; recreation.
-source: Answer.com
WTF
Does anyone else think that these words are too similar? I mean, Jesus fucking Christ they are almost the same!
So, now for 'track and field' and why its not the sport everyone says it is:
Reason One: The Wording
TRACK and FIELD. I'd be cool with track if it didn't have the word 'field' in it, but it fucking does! Look at this picture:

Where's the damn field? I don't see a field, I see morons in short shorts. Fields are what the track goes around, because sports are played on fields, and track isn't a real sport, and therefore has to go around where the sports players play. Idiots.
Reason Two: It's "The Olympic GAMES", not "THE OLYMPIC SPORTS" you moron.
Why isn't it 'Olympic sports'? Because some of the activities are sports, some are not. Basketball is in the Olympics, but its a sport. Track is in the Olympics, and its a game. Every sport is a game, but not every game is a sport. Is chess a sport? No. That's why they have to call it "The Olympic Games", to appease you crazy track people out there.
Reason Three: There is no room for fights in Track
When's the last time you saw a brawl at a track meet? Maybe 50 years ago? Sorry, but in every other 'sport', people go crazy half the time and punch each other in the face. Look at hockey before the reconstruction: it was all fighting, all the time. Now THAT'S a sport.
So, some of you are whining, Wiiiiilllllllllllll, its a spoooooooorrrrrrttttttt...
Lemme tell ya'll how to make Track and Field into a sport:
1. Greyhound Races/Horse Races/People Races
Since a long time ago, people ran dogs for money. Horses too. And now we make people run extraordinarily fast so that they get heart attacks and die on the track. Boring. But, here's what we'll do: we'll have a new trend of putting greyhound races, horse races, and person races all together at the same time. It'll look something like this:
2. Javelins and Shotput - A Crowd Sport
I definitely think that crowd participation is the mark of a good sport. Therefore, scoring areas in Shotput and Javelin throw should be within the crowded stands of a track meet. I mean, I think it'd be kinda funny... okay, not really.
3. The Relay Time Bomb
Know that plain old, crappy baton you're always running around passing off? It should be a TIME BOMB. Oh shit, you better run faster you little bitch!
4. Alright fine, we'll keep your dumb games together!
- On one condition: there is a chariot race at the end of your games, no holds barred, when you're wearing your short shorts. That's the only way this can be a sport: a Ben Hur chariot race! w00t!
Michael Johnson with Gold Shoes... in a chariot
Okay, I think I beat this issue to death.
Just like the greyhounds.