It’s time I addressed capitalism again, since ya’ll don’t seem to get it.
Lets postulate!
1. There are poor people.
2. There are rich people.
3. Humanity has been around for millennia.
4. Humans are greedy.
Alright people, I’m about to give you an exciting revelation, unlike any you’ve ever experienced before: the more you work, the more you get fucked by the system.
I’ve heard about this game show, The Apprentice. I think it involves something about drug dealing, but I know one thing: Donald Trump is involved. And you know what that means, don’t you? You don’t? It means that the Fat Fucker is out to get people again, and I’m not talking about Santa, people.
See, every time you watch the apprentice, you see this:
Personally, and I’m speaking from hours of TV watching, I don’t like to watch a penis on my TV screen. I can look down.
Wait, here’s my point: Donald Trump is a fucking douche, and he’s stealing your money.
Little did you know, that before the development of his ‘brilliant’ show, The Apprentice, Trump was losing millions and millions in his casino business, because people finally realized the truth: gambling, especially in the form of pulling a lever to watch fruit run you by, will always end up taking your wallet, popping a squat over it, and will let loose. Trump was finally getting his, after probably killing or ruining the lives of many, many people who got in his way. Finally, his empire was falling. But NOOOOOOO…
NOOooooo, we have to watch a bunch of witless motherfucks sit at a desk and get berated by a giant walking penis with a wig. What did your mother tell you, after all? “Don’t listen to your dick.”
The entire show, The Apprentice, is an allegory for real life. Millions watch a select few try to get to the top, and in the end, only one does. And the dumbasses watching the show just stare and clap as someone gets to the top of the food chain, bows, and then proceeds to service your asshole as they do things like
This is an old image, but I think it gets the point across: your ass is in
the willing and able hands of a few who 0wn all the gas in the world.
So, lets say you, college student extraordinare, who loves to drink on weekends
and then read Hobbes and Microeconomics hung-over, goes to fill your tank.
Basically, you might as well go to the gas station, take the pump, squeeze the
trigger, rub the gas on yourself, and then light a match and make the Buddhists
look like chumps. Why do it? Well, look at it this way:
Either way, you're fucked.
There is no alternative to high gas prices. You pay them, or you don't drive, and not driving in America is impossible. There's no public transportation, and I know all of you are too lazy to walk.
Therefore, the gas is now not only controlled and monopolized by this dick, but no matter what you do, you make the pain worse.
Look folks, you’ll never be famous or rich. The best you’ll be able to do is be between the meaty thighs of our Fat Fucker here, or the rest of the rich. So, service the account if you want to, maybe go buy another tank of gas for our rich friends even. I’m gonna find something else to do.