Skiing And Snowboarding: Yet Another set of Sports Designed for the Rich and White
So, I came to a realization on a skiing trip over my break: skiing is yet another stupid activity that is plagued by high equipment prices, fashion, and 'culture'.
$25 for boots
$150 for some cheap skis (you'd do better off making your own out of plywood)
$$$$ for gas to get to a place with a mountain
$$$$ for a car to get there, if you even have one
$64 for an adult lift ticket for half a day at Bear Creek
+
At least 200 dollars for new (read: crappy) equipment.
These prices do not include the cost for jackets, pants, gloves, ect. depending on where you live and how cold it is.
WHY DOES THIS SOUND SO SIMILAR TO A SISTER SPORT, NAMELY MY Favorite SPORT EVER: GOLF?
Here's the deal: when you go into a ski resort/mountain/whatever, you will see a few things, that I will list here and provide explanations for:
1. White People: You will see a lot of white people, who are mainly of the middle class. The reason behind this is that they are the only ones who can afford to take an entire day off from work, and the only ones who can afford the equipment
2. Teenagers: Teenagers will 'rule' the slopes so to say. As a true stoner lifestyle, many of these kids will like to do nothing other than spend their money on new sunglasses or hats to look 'cool' on the slopes. They will skip school or take weekend trips to the ski slopes. They will get snowboards for Christmas/ birthdays/ Easter/ July 4th with their parent's money and use the boards to play hooky.
3. People looking at each other's equipment: In the parking lot, where
everyone dons their gear and gets ready for an exhilarating day on the slopes,
you will get many looks. Many, and often not because people think you are cool.
Rather, what you are wearing is a true judge of what kind of skier you are. You
can always tell the 'hardcore' skiers, because they walk around naturally in
their North Face jacket with extra pockets on the inside, and have perfected the
'I'm going to stare at you because you don't belong here' look that goes hand in
hand with the parking lot. The parking lot is equivalent to the locker room,
where everyone brags to each other about their new stuff. "Oh, I just got
this new jacket". "Oh, I just got this new board".
"Oh, look at me, I'm vain".
Or... OH LOOK AT ME, IM A SCIENTIST!
4. Skiers Vs. Snowboarders: Snowboarding is the European American's counterculture, if you will. Some bright, young kid, living in an apartment with his parent's money decided that it would be 'rad' to use a skateboard board to go down snow instead of skiis. Thus, the snowboard was invented. You will see the eternal battle between skiers and snowboarders, and the young snowboard, and the old ski, and they constantly fight over the slopes. This came into being because the young men and women, using their parent's money, decided they needed to escape from the trap that is their posh lifestyle.
5. Hardcore Vs. Newbie: Similar to the skier vs. snowboarder debacle, there is the bragging rights of being able to say that one went down a black diamond instead of going down the green circle slope. With varying degrees of difficulty across the mountain, for 'friendly competition', instead you just get a lot of conceited people going "I'm worth something! I just went down the black diamond!" Trust me, kid, you aren't worth shit.
Tell me, all ye skier critics: when can you dress like this
and be taken seriously?
Answer: not if you're not skiing!
Coco's point: That jacket fucking sucks, Mr. Skier
Now, I'd like to clear something up: yes, I have skied before. Yes, I'm white, and yes, I'm part of the middle class. No, I do not make excuses, just observations. No, I did not make judgmental statements in the above paragraphs. I will do that presently:
Skiers and Snowboarders waste a lot of money on something that takes up more time than the making of the movie Titanic.
Instead of saving your damn money and keeping it away from bums who operate ski lifts, you decided that you were going to spend your vacation in the motherfucking mountains and not give a care about anyone who can't afford to ski. Nice job, dickbag. You've once again proved yourself a freaking idiot with your overpriced fleece jackets and long, tight fitting nylon underwear that really doesn't do anything, but the guy at Sport's Authority convinced you that it does. Skiing is for hippies and people with too much time on their hands. Go ahead, idiots, get 'in touch with nature' and 'work on your skill at making the pizza wedge' with your skis, because you KNOW that you have no REAL useful skills in life.
God, people are so freaking sheep-like. It actually takes a motherfucking spreadsheet to show them how much their shit actually ends up costing! Look at that! And that is for some bum ass equipment, and Im not even sure if that includes bindings, because I was too pissed off looking at the price for your new DOWN COAT WITH FUZZY HOOD.
Freaking AMAZING.