More Stupid Animals

Alright, Iím sick and tired of this bullshit. What, does the government think that Iím stupid? Do they think that I donít recognize a fucking alien or genetically engineered piece of shit when I see one? You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.

Listen, see that animal? Itís a fucking Okapi. Believe it or not, yeah, its supposedly some kind of a fucking giraffe donkey shit. Listen, can you believe that? I donít. You know what I see? I see an animal with serious self-image issues. ISSUES. It's ass is a giraffe, and its body is a manatee. 

You know what else (and this tops the damn cake right off)? Itís related to the giraffe. Honestly, I canít think of anything funnier right now. An okapi?! Of course its related to a giraffe! They were both born in a goddamn test tube, or cursed by God or something!

Did you know that:
...the okapi was discovered as late as 1901, the last large mammal to be discovered...
...if the giraffe invited its whole family to dinner, only the okapi would come...
... the okapi is the only mammal that can clean its ears with its tongue...
... the only place you can see an okapi in the wild is Zaire's Ituri forest

-from [http://www.danger-island.com/true/mokapi/okapi.html]

Sure, you can find them in just one place. That's because the government doesn't have the rescources to mass produce its evil entities.

I would be money that when the babies are born from an okapi, they go flying out of the womb like a cannonball. It really, really wouldnít surprise this skeptic. Completely inexcusable. The aliens have to get a new designer for their robots, because Iím not falling for it anymore.

 

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Thereís apparently some huge market for OKAPI PORN. GODAMMIT.

I

HATE

EVERYTHING!

Think about it:

Why would a human, I mean, a HUMAN BEING, look at Okapi porn? This just doesn't make any sense to me. Is this bestiality? Maybe the republicans were right. I think our country is going down the goddamn tubes, because only if you were totally without morals would you look at porn of fake animals acting like people.

 I want everyone to take 3 deep breaths before looking at the next picture. It may shock you. The picture itself has been known to cause heart attacks in senior citizens:

 NOT

REAL.

IM-

POSSIBLE  

Is that supposed to be its tongue? Lord above, if that's its tongue, I'm going to go kill myself. Look at it! It's demented! It's been 0wned by nature!

I'm tired of Okapis... so, okay, next victim? Who else want's their stupid animal ideas debunked?
Capybara! Over in the corner! So, the capybara party wants to get 0wned by Coco?!

 This is a CAPYBARA:

 

Its got to be the biggest fucking rat that ever existed on this bright, green earth. I hate this shit. This isnít even funny anymore! That thing WILL eat your children. My god, its something out of my nightmare. That guy KNOWS he is about to get 0wned by a fucking monster rat.  

In case you didn't know, capybara's eat human children. They are walking, talking abortion machines that feast on human brains. There's about 10 on earth, and I personally believe that they were created by the government and Roe vs. Wade to destroy the human race altogether.

Now, if you thought that was bad... Jesus, look at this dog!

 

No, honestly. That's not a dog. That's a carpet. People just CLAIM it's a dog. I would incinerate my dog if it looked like that. The evolutionary process, if that was indeed what created it, gave it about 10 extra yards of skin. Does that make sense to anyone else? If it does, you need to get in contact with me as soon as possible. In fact, just give me some money. That makes it alot easier.

From now on, Iím hunting any non-natural animal that I see. I'll strangle them with my bare hands!
Like this stupid okapi. Itís in jail! Hahahaha!

ITS THE FUCKING JAIL FOR YOU, UNNATURAL BEAST


I call upon all my followers, friends, family and daughters of the apocalypse to destroy these abominations forever!

I got my TEC, I got my fuckiní DR. DRE CD, and I got my SWORDS! WE RIDINí!

 

BLAKABLAW CHOP CHOP BITCHES!

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