Ligers: My Newest Target
Deb:
What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A
liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's
pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for
its skills in magic.
Courtesy of www.imdb.com
So, here we have another animal now famous because of its mention in the uhhhh, 'movie' Napoleon Dynamite. The 'movie' itself is more of a turd on a stick than a movie, but we'll work with those who consider it a film. Other than the main actor, John Heder, who looks like he's a crack baby, the movie makes mention of another animal that I have to own: The LIGER.
Okay, so here's the roundup. The Liger is supposedly a mix of a tiger and a lion (fancy that. I wonder which dumbass scientist came up with this name... [PROBABLY the same scientist that came up with the miraculous term 'The Big Bang' to describe the beginning of the universe as we know it, which could get the award for the least creative naming EVER]) and is only really bred in zoos when a tiger and a lion are both put into captivity together.
Now, we all know that I have problems with retarded animals. So, I did a google image search for ammo (ie, stupid pictures of ligers to exploit the conspiracy) and here's some of the first hits I came up with:
Well, I personally thought bestiality was illegal, but maybe that was just a strange, strange fantasy of mine that the world was sane at least some of the time.
Apparently its illegal in most states, except for the ones with ligers.
Here's a picture of a fucking liger:
Reminds me of an okapi
So, now we have this warped, caged animal that has sex with humans, or at least seems to be forced into pleasuring them.
Let me tell you why ligers aren't real:
1. Species can't interbreed. I don't care how close they are on the galatic food chain or whatever chart they are using these days, but you cant mix the two. One lives in a jungle and the other lives on the plains. Enough said, dipshit.
2. Animals don't have sex with humans.
3. It was mentioned in Napoleon Dynamite as having magic, and I believe everything on TV, but I KNOW that magic isn't real, except for the tooth fairy, because she stole my teeth once and didn't pay me back, that bitch. Next time, I'm giving her a snake fang.
My conclusion? Once again, genetic engineering strikes at the world of humanity. If you look back at the picture, you can see the antennae sticking out. Let me show you again:
See? Its completely obvious. I don't know how your blind ass missed it the first time. Maybe you should get some laser eye burninating... I mean SURGERY, before you come back to my website and critisize me again.
I mean, it has a freaking RADAR dish coming out of its head!
Alright, FIND, I admit it, I had to FIND this picture off the CIA webpage. But still!