July 24th, 1969 Apollo XI (11), Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins. You all know the story. We made it to the moon of all things, past our boundary of atmosphere, past our boundary of stellar travel. Amazing, isn't it? Us, humans, little beings in an infinite universe, landed on the moon and began to collect samples, bounce around, and plant flags like its ours.
I'm here to ruin your day....
WHY THE MOON LANDING IS NOT REAL.
Its time to expose the truth: that we never landed on the freaking moon ever.
I will list reasons, starting with:
REASON 1: The Moon is Very far away
I don't know if people just don't understand this, or they're just stupid, but the moon is about a million fucking miles away. That's a million people. That means, it takes days to get there. Smells like bullshit, doesn't it?
If the earth was 500 miles or so, okay, I could buy that. But, the moon is like a hundred million miles away.
REASON 2: The moon is not shielded by our magnetosphere
A little known fact about the ball of rock we call our earth is that we are surrounded by a massive magnetic field that even causally, scientists know nothing about. However it is created, we are protected from radioactive particles from the sun carried in the solar wind.
The funny thing is, is that for many of the terrestrial planets, specifically mars, our moon and mercury, there IS no magnetic field to protect them, therefore they are hit by bazillions of radioactively charged particles all the time. No joke. I am not lying about this.
The earth's magnetic field does not cover the moon, so what protected the astronauts from the massive amount of charged particles smashing into their shit all the time? That's right, my young readers: jack fucking shit.
So, basically you have a bunch of idiots jumping around in a lethal non-atmosphere with no pressure, wearing rubber suits that reflect the bombardment of stellar explosions millions of miles away that basically are burning the hydrogen and helium of a gas cloud that was 1000 times the size of our solar system all wrapped up in a ball called the sun. You're
telling me,
that a glass faceplate
is going to block gamma rays?
No, sorry. I don't buy it. Not only that, but this was in the sixties, people. Back then, the United States didn't even have the technology to create a carbine that would prevent itself from jamming in a swampy environment or bounce off trees (I'm talking about Vietnam).
Basically, all your cameras, all your oxygen tanks, all of it, has minimal shielding from solar radiation. And then they try to tell me they landed on the moon. Fucker, please.
Here's an illustration to explain the process:
Here's a link to prove that there is a magnetic field and how far it is from the earth:
REASON 3: THE FOLLOWING PICTURE IS A FAKE!
Actually, I was lying. This is a picture (and its NOT fake, you idiot) of Buzz Aldrin as taken by Neil Armstrong:
Okay, this means Armstrong was already on the moon when he took this photo of Aldrin stepping off. REMEMBER, he had to be ON THE MOON, WHEN HE TOOK THIS PICTURE.
The next photo is the one that bugs me:
This is a frame from the famous video where Aldrin says, "One small step..." and the rest is history.
Now, ask yourself...
Who took this picture?
I rest my case on that one.
REASON 4: I wouldn't let anyone named BUZZ fly a spaceship
Buzz Aldrin: American Hero, or Crack Baby?
Seriously, would you put your space shuttle, worth billions of dollars requiring years and years of research into the hands of a fucktard named Buzz? I sure as hell wouldn't. That's like giving the nuclear detonation codes to someone who calls themselves 'W'. Oh, wait!
REASON 5: Aliens
Okay, listen. You know how there's a man in the moon?
We all also know my opinion on stupid looking animals/bugs like these:
(from left to right, Barred Owl, Duck Billed Platypus, Camel Spider)
Now, take a look at that spider. You're going to sit there and tell me that there is no such thing as aliens? Please. The damn spider's favorite food is babies, that's right, babies. That spider is NOT FUCKING AROUND.
Now take a look at the man in the moon. That's right, scroll up.
Take a look.
He's a guy in the moon, cracker please. There is no way there's a dude on the
face of the moon that isn't an alien. They used their technology to carve that
huge face in the moon so it would scare you whenever you saw it on dark nights.
So, basically, in order to get to the moon, you have to get past the aliens. I have a diagram below regarding the aliens:
Aliens never come in peace. They probe your children and then
blast you with their plasma guns. If we ever even tried to get to the moon, our
alien overlords would vaporize the planet. So, the whole thing is a government
cover-up.
I think I've beat this issue to death.