New Secret! Passion of the Christ Alternate Endings!
So, anyway, I was flipping through the scenes of my Passion DVD the other day, hoping to watch that whipping scene again, and I accidentally, at the main menu, hit the menu button again. Of course, I started screaming at my XBOX in anger, since we all know what happens when you hit the wrong button on your DVD player. But, much to my surprise, another menu opened up, and I discovered a little known secret, namely, that the writers, including Mel Gibson included deleted scenes and lost footage of their preferred alternate endings to The Passion.
So, I popped out the video cassette player that I've been hiding in my room, taped the lost endings, and digitized them so I could put them on my website for your viewing pleasure. Since I'm willing to give away 2 of the 3 copies I have of the DVD, anyone who wants one should be running to my place right now so they can see these excellent conclusions to the best movie of all time.
Ending 1: Looney Tunes!
So, the first ending that popped up was great. Here's Jesus, just as he's about ready to get the cross to the hill, and BAMPH
An anvil gets dropped on the head of that pagan Roman soldier! Take the wrath of God, you foolish mortal! 0wned!
Anyway, Jesus proceeds to run away from the soldiers, and drops more divine anvils and fucks some more people up. It was freaking great.
'Dat's awwll folks!
Ending 2: Matrix Ending!
Just when I thought it couldn't get any better than that, Mel Gibson unearthed his greatest act of genius yet: the matrix ending!
Remember all the Christological symbolism that was all over the Matrix? Well, guess what? You don't know? Mel Gibson is a huge supporter of the Matrix franchise, and so, in tribute to the Matrix, he added in a wicked fight scene where Jesus power jumps off the cross and proceeds to whoop ass on all those nasty Jews and Romans!
He even beats up on Neo! Sweet! Its like a Jesus versus Jesus battle, and the Holy Ghost is sitting this one out!
Personally, I couldn't believe the awesomeness of the production and musical score that went along with the alternate endings. The score was sweeping and emotional, and you really felt for Jesus when he kicked the head off that one kid that was standing too close to him when he swung the telephone pole! Jesus' foot must have hurt after that!
I give the Alternate endings to The Passion two thumbs up!