Coco's Election Reaction 2004
Voting, The Implications of Voting, and the whole 'Complaining' argument
So, the election of the... year, is finally over, and President Bush, the
incumbent, won the popular and the electoral vote, causing Senator John Kerry to
concede.
It was quite the race. Both sides were vicious in
their attacks, and I don't believe that this country has ever been so divided
over a presidential race, with the exception of the Gore v Bush race that showed
the flaws inherent in the electoral system.
But, at this point, I'd like to address a few issues that came up with the
election that really pissed me off, because that's pretty much what this web page
was about.
Number 1: If You Don't Vote, You Can't Complain
I have never heard such an insipid reasoning in my entire life. The theory behind this is that because you had a part in picking who runs the executive branch of the government, somehow that gives you some right to complain, because you can always say, "Oh, I didn't vote for him", or "Oh, I thought I trusted him back in year XXXX!".
Well, look at it from my perspective. As a philosophy type of person, I tend to see things clearly, and truly, and you know what I see? A big pile of steaming
Bullshit.
I know that there are more crap-tacular things out there, but honestly, I can't think of anything stupider than this reasoning. Since when did you have a right to complain about something? Face it, you moron, nobody wants to hear you bitch about which candidate you voted for. Do you realize how many people voted in this last election? Well, I'll tell you, since you probably don't have any idea:
59,247,194 (51% total) - Bush
55,710,895 (48% total) - Kerry
That means that over 100,000,000 cast a vote other than you. So, what do you think would happen if all 100 million people complained about their votes? We wouldn't get shit done, that's what.
So, let me tell you. If I hear you complain about who won, or what they do in office, I'm going to flush your driver's license down the fucking toilet.
Number 2: The Election Was Thrown
Listen, no. It wasn't. I guarantee that there were too many votes cast for one side or the other to throw the whole election. That just doesn't happen. Yes, someone cheated. But I would be you a shit-load of money that the other side cheated too. This ISN'T BLACK AND WHITE PEOPLE. There isn't a 'good' party and a 'bad' party. Politicians, in general, are a bunch of slime ball ass-heads who will lie to you to get your money, like lawyers and doctors.
Its sort of like this:
Man, that's exactly what its like!
Number 3: New Voter Programs: Conspiracy, or just plain fun?
Everyone knows what I'm talking about, right? "Vote Or Die", "Rock the Vote", "WWF Slams Your Vote", "Onyx Slams it Harder", and "We Pay You, You Vote"... all fascist. All of them.
Because, in the end, you are still voting for which person has the smallest penis, because otherwise its going to hurt more when the big guys destroy your asshole.
Notice, Kerry was taller! Know what they say about tall people...
Bush is like, a monkey. People have sex with monkeys all the time, so that's why he won.
Nader, well, we don't talk about him.
Anyway, so, these fascist voting programs just seek to convince young people that when you get out and vote, you are actually deciding something, which obviously isn't the case. 60% of young people voted in this election, as opposed to 50%, last election. That's 17% of the overall voting population. To me, this just spells doom for the free thinkers of our generation. The United States is taking over our minds!
Put your hoodies up, and your tin foil hats on!
Listen people. The real terrorists are P. Diddy and all of them! They're going to shoot you because you didn't have time to vote! He's in league with Osama and the giraffes! FUCK FUCK FUCK
OSAMA IS THE GIRAFFE GOD!